if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
