This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
