I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
