so that wasnt chicken after all
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
