Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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