To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
