ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
