And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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