I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize