quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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