So gin and wine won't be happening again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
