i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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