please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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