I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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