Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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