I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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