I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm going to jail i love you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
