I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
