And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
