I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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