Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
