last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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