He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
