I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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