I'm really into asian looking animals
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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