I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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