Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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