god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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