READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
