I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
