I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
