you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize