I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm at about main and main street
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
