She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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