i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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