Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
