I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
