I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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