So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
