Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
