i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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