and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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