K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
