nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just want nice things and good sex
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
