tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize