What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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