how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
