i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
