good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
