I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
