But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
