Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
