hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
