just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
