the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
