Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
