you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
