Your face is a jimmy john
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
