so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
