the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
