Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
