My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
