They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
